The title says it all. If I was to start a blog, as I am, I would start by introducing the author (me). My plan has always to start with something like "I'm different, but that is okay." There is more to that then just simply that. Here we go:
Hi, y'all! This is Mary Beau, the author of this blog. Welcome to my 'world' where I tell a little about my life, my struggles, and good times, and almost everything in between.
Like I was mentioning above, if I had to choose one word to describe me it would probably be different. I mean, I know we are all different in our own way, but mine is... well, different. I do not fit in with most missionary kids (MKs) even though I am one because I am too "American". I am an MK who has not been on the field for the longest time of being in one place at one time- four, going on five, years. So, I'm not really an MK because I was only overseas for one-third of my childhood, right?
But what am I then, American? But the Americans don't really want to accept me either. I am so behind in the trends, the lingo, and I was so sheltered in other ways that having a conversation with me is difficult. Then, I am just straight-up weird. I mean, my friends and I joke around about me being weird, but I really am. I have strong beliefs that even some Christians don't have- such as that I do not like the phrase "I believe in you" or "Believe in yourself" because it is too humanistic or that I prefer the word "awesome" only used when referring to God or one of his attributes ( I have cut the slack there a little, but still!).
Yet, I have my own issues. If you think I am so legalistic that I must think I am perfect, you are so wrong. I have a problem with comparing myself to others. If I win the comparison (which is obviously biased) then I feel proud. I may block out good attributes of someone to put them down in my head so I mentally feel better. Yes, sadly like a bully. But, I also will find I end up on the shorter side most of the time, even with my bias. This is especially popular in looks nowadays for me. I feel pretty until I look at someone else's post, or picture, or even in real life face! I just feel horrible about myself. And I could totally add to this list of problems if what I have given you is not enough: I'm selfish, mean to my siblings sometimes, and I am way too talkative. So, I'm a mess.
As again you should be able to tell by the title, it does not end there (thankfully). God can still us me. I don't remember the exact day or moment I was saved, but I remember probably what is considered a re-commitment (which is not required if anyone was wondering) where I wanted to 'make sure' I was really saved. I was about nine or ten sitting on an extra bed in my brother's room (ignore specific details, I guess, I just really remember this moment). I was reading a Keys for Kids little devotional booklet (and I would really the whole month's worth in one sitting because it was more fun to read all the little stories but I would often miss out on the messages that they wanted to communicate. Anyway, I got to the middle of the book (you know, where the staples are seen) and they had a page of prayer requests in little thought bubbles. One was about a girl who was asking for prayer for her grandpa who was sick and she was not sure if he was saved. Instead of praying for him, like the book intended, it made me think about my eternal destiny. Where was I going? I knew all the answers from the many years of going to church almost every time the doors were open that the Lord had blessed me with. So, there by myself with no one else around but God, I prayed something like this: "God, I know that I need to believe in you to go to heaven. I do not want to go to hell. I know that you are perfect and I am not. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins. I put my trust in you. Amen." I was pretty sure I was saved before then, but I remember from that time on I actually cared about church instead of it being a routine. I listened to what I could understand from the sermon ( I was ten, not two), and I started growing from there.
That is not the end, though. No, that is just the beginning. And God is still working on me. The next big moment in my life, I guess, was September 14,2014. (The pastor made us write the date down). I was in a youth group session with a guest speaker one night (I think it was a Sunday, but obviously you can google it to find out for sure). The pastor was speaking at LeMars Bible Chruch in LeMars, Iowa. When he finished his little message (which I do not really remember, to be honest (and I was 12 by then) he said he had two more things he wanted to do with us. He wanted all those who wanted to commit their lives to Christ for the first time by accepting the free gift, to come up. Then, he wanted all those who wanted to commit the rest of their lives to serve Christ to come up. I knew that I wanted to give my life to Christ- I wanted to serve Him with all my life. So, he called anyone up who wanted to become a Christian. I think there may have been a few, but I don't remember much. I was already gripping the chair in front of me looking around at everyone else to know how they would feel when they saw me walk up there. I was thinking about all the people I would have to crawl over to get to the front. I was thinking about what it would be like standing up there alone, but doing the right thing. Then, he called for anyone who wanted to commit the rest of their lives to Christ to come forward. I stood up, but amazingly almost everyone else around me did too. There was still confusing with getting to the front, but once I was up there (I was in the back rows, so I was in the front of the crowd of people dedicating their lives to Christ) I saw that most of the seats that we were all sitting in where empty. Maybe ten of the 60 or so were still sitting. I am sure the Pastor and the youth helpers were so excited to see this. I still remember the date because he had us all write it down in our bibles. And right now, 6 years later, I still have the same bible.
Again, not the end. Twice in the past four years, I felt a new spark after hearing a sermon to encourage me to read God's Word again more often. To get into a study, or to witness to my unbelieving friends and classmates. This means that the spark had to leave me, which is really sad, but it just shows that God is not done with me. Right now I am reading the bible in a steady pattern (and it helps to be going to a Christian school [which I personally made the choice to do]). The Christian school, Calvary University Academy, has helped prepare me for college and helped me grow in my faith.
Side note, about two years ago I challenged myself to read the whole bible for Journey (high school AWANA) and I did! I was told of a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan (which my family has done together twice throughout my life) but I read it in less than 6 months- from the end of February to June or before. But, because I do not like how those studies work, and I probably read the bible too fast in those 6 months, I still have a lot to learn from what I have previously read. I have done many different studies and I am currently leading a Bible group that meets on Skype about twice a week (unless no one shows up, which sadly does seem to happen). We have been around for about 4 years as well, so were have gone through so many different studies and plans.
Right now, almost all my friends and I are using this app called YouVersion. It is a free bible app that lets you download many different versions for offline and it has devotionals and reading plans. It has helped me so much!
There is more I could say but this is a good stopping point for the first post. Thank you for checking this out and I hope that you will come back to hear more from me later. Maybe I can come up with a regular posting schedule. We'll see. Thank you again! Goodbye!
Hi, y'all! This is Mary Beau, the author of this blog. Welcome to my 'world' where I tell a little about my life, my struggles, and good times, and almost everything in between.
Like I was mentioning above, if I had to choose one word to describe me it would probably be different. I mean, I know we are all different in our own way, but mine is... well, different. I do not fit in with most missionary kids (MKs) even though I am one because I am too "American". I am an MK who has not been on the field for the longest time of being in one place at one time- four, going on five, years. So, I'm not really an MK because I was only overseas for one-third of my childhood, right?
But what am I then, American? But the Americans don't really want to accept me either. I am so behind in the trends, the lingo, and I was so sheltered in other ways that having a conversation with me is difficult. Then, I am just straight-up weird. I mean, my friends and I joke around about me being weird, but I really am. I have strong beliefs that even some Christians don't have- such as that I do not like the phrase "I believe in you" or "Believe in yourself" because it is too humanistic or that I prefer the word "awesome" only used when referring to God or one of his attributes ( I have cut the slack there a little, but still!).
Yet, I have my own issues. If you think I am so legalistic that I must think I am perfect, you are so wrong. I have a problem with comparing myself to others. If I win the comparison (which is obviously biased) then I feel proud. I may block out good attributes of someone to put them down in my head so I mentally feel better. Yes, sadly like a bully. But, I also will find I end up on the shorter side most of the time, even with my bias. This is especially popular in looks nowadays for me. I feel pretty until I look at someone else's post, or picture, or even in real life face! I just feel horrible about myself. And I could totally add to this list of problems if what I have given you is not enough: I'm selfish, mean to my siblings sometimes, and I am way too talkative. So, I'm a mess.
As again you should be able to tell by the title, it does not end there (thankfully). God can still us me. I don't remember the exact day or moment I was saved, but I remember probably what is considered a re-commitment (which is not required if anyone was wondering) where I wanted to 'make sure' I was really saved. I was about nine or ten sitting on an extra bed in my brother's room (ignore specific details, I guess, I just really remember this moment). I was reading a Keys for Kids little devotional booklet (and I would really the whole month's worth in one sitting because it was more fun to read all the little stories but I would often miss out on the messages that they wanted to communicate. Anyway, I got to the middle of the book (you know, where the staples are seen) and they had a page of prayer requests in little thought bubbles. One was about a girl who was asking for prayer for her grandpa who was sick and she was not sure if he was saved. Instead of praying for him, like the book intended, it made me think about my eternal destiny. Where was I going? I knew all the answers from the many years of going to church almost every time the doors were open that the Lord had blessed me with. So, there by myself with no one else around but God, I prayed something like this: "God, I know that I need to believe in you to go to heaven. I do not want to go to hell. I know that you are perfect and I am not. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins. I put my trust in you. Amen." I was pretty sure I was saved before then, but I remember from that time on I actually cared about church instead of it being a routine. I listened to what I could understand from the sermon ( I was ten, not two), and I started growing from there.
That is not the end, though. No, that is just the beginning. And God is still working on me. The next big moment in my life, I guess, was September 14,2014. (The pastor made us write the date down). I was in a youth group session with a guest speaker one night (I think it was a Sunday, but obviously you can google it to find out for sure). The pastor was speaking at LeMars Bible Chruch in LeMars, Iowa. When he finished his little message (which I do not really remember, to be honest (and I was 12 by then) he said he had two more things he wanted to do with us. He wanted all those who wanted to commit their lives to Christ for the first time by accepting the free gift, to come up. Then, he wanted all those who wanted to commit the rest of their lives to serve Christ to come up. I knew that I wanted to give my life to Christ- I wanted to serve Him with all my life. So, he called anyone up who wanted to become a Christian. I think there may have been a few, but I don't remember much. I was already gripping the chair in front of me looking around at everyone else to know how they would feel when they saw me walk up there. I was thinking about all the people I would have to crawl over to get to the front. I was thinking about what it would be like standing up there alone, but doing the right thing. Then, he called for anyone who wanted to commit the rest of their lives to Christ to come forward. I stood up, but amazingly almost everyone else around me did too. There was still confusing with getting to the front, but once I was up there (I was in the back rows, so I was in the front of the crowd of people dedicating their lives to Christ) I saw that most of the seats that we were all sitting in where empty. Maybe ten of the 60 or so were still sitting. I am sure the Pastor and the youth helpers were so excited to see this. I still remember the date because he had us all write it down in our bibles. And right now, 6 years later, I still have the same bible.
Again, not the end. Twice in the past four years, I felt a new spark after hearing a sermon to encourage me to read God's Word again more often. To get into a study, or to witness to my unbelieving friends and classmates. This means that the spark had to leave me, which is really sad, but it just shows that God is not done with me. Right now I am reading the bible in a steady pattern (and it helps to be going to a Christian school [which I personally made the choice to do]). The Christian school, Calvary University Academy, has helped prepare me for college and helped me grow in my faith.
Side note, about two years ago I challenged myself to read the whole bible for Journey (high school AWANA) and I did! I was told of a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan (which my family has done together twice throughout my life) but I read it in less than 6 months- from the end of February to June or before. But, because I do not like how those studies work, and I probably read the bible too fast in those 6 months, I still have a lot to learn from what I have previously read. I have done many different studies and I am currently leading a Bible group that meets on Skype about twice a week (unless no one shows up, which sadly does seem to happen). We have been around for about 4 years as well, so were have gone through so many different studies and plans.
Right now, almost all my friends and I are using this app called YouVersion. It is a free bible app that lets you download many different versions for offline and it has devotionals and reading plans. It has helped me so much!
There is more I could say but this is a good stopping point for the first post. Thank you for checking this out and I hope that you will come back to hear more from me later. Maybe I can come up with a regular posting schedule. We'll see. Thank you again! Goodbye!
Wow Mary, your life sounds very busy and interesting! I can't wait to read more about what you have to share with the world!
ReplyDeleteI so agree!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mark!
Delete