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Why Worry?

 I have expressed before about a year ago in another blogging group I am, and was, in (TEAM Newsletter) that I struggle with worrying. Whenever I have given a challenge, no matter how big or small, I start worrying. Even if there is literally nothing I could do about it, I would always think about it and wonder what I might be able to do. This happened, in the article I wrote about earlier when I lost something. But this time, I think it was something that was bigger of a deal. 

I am in college. I have gained enough money from work and gifts to pay for my first semester (half a year). Yet, after being here for about a week, I still don't have a job. I knew I would need a job to be able to pay for school after this first semester. I had applied to a job, and I got rejected because I didn't have a vehicle to be as flexible as the job would need me to be. Even though I totally understood, I had to really tell myself to not control in order to control my emotions. 

Why did God want me to go through this? I did not have the paper that I needed to get a job on-campus the first week. I was at a stalemate when it came to getting a job. Was there a lesson God had for me to learn through all of this? Then, it was pointed out to me yet again that if God wanted me to stay at the college, he would provide for me. This gave me hope, but it also made me question if this was where God wanted me to be. Why would He send me to a college I have wanted to go to for about five years, only to go for one month and switch my plan? What would be next for me? Yet, after taking the time to look at the scholarships I got and considering what I would earn for the on-campus job if I got it, I should be able to pay for the next semester based on my earnings for the first semester. And, if not, I would be able to set up a payment plan and pay for it little by little as I keep on working. God had a plan through all of this, but I just did not know what it was. 

Who knows? I still don't have either of the on-campus jobs I want. I may not get them. I may only get one. God may still bless me in different ways, and I am sure He will still challenge me more over the years. I just need to remember to not worry. Yet, nothing seems to work yet. Who is to say that telling myself not to worry this time will work? 

There are two things, more than just trusting on the Lord, that I feel I have learned through this. First off, God is in control. Romans 8:28, my favorite verse, mentions this. I need to remember that He will work all things for good- even if it is something I don't expect, or in a way that does not make sense to me. The second lesson I learned is that I need to focus on all that God is, not on my present 'struggles' which are small compared to others. Colossians 3:2 "Set your mind on things above, not on things of this earth." 

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