Heard God's Voice

 I have heard so many people talk about hearing God's voice in different circumstances. I heard a story about a teenage girl who 'heard' God tell her to do a gymnastics trick at her local gas station. Apparently, this gas station was holding an atheist who had asked God to prove He is real by sending someone to do gymnastics in the said gas station. She was able to lead this older man to Christ. But, this was a story I have found online. I was not sure of the accuracy of such a song, and a concept as bizarre as that seemed to mix up my brain so much more. 

I have also heard of more personal relationships- where a friend or a family friend heard God's voice in the middle of a struggle and they were able to find peace. These stories lined up to what the Bible said so much more accurately. For example, when my friend heard God talk to her, she was able to feel peace when he reminded her of Bible verses that were comforting to remember, such as the promises God has given us. 

Yet, nothing like this had ever happened to me before. It was always something that I had seen on the side. I had some doubts, but I was sure that it was possible, especially when God was showing someone His Word at the moment to remind them of His promises and Truths. 

This summer, though, it all changed. I heard God's voice. Yet, it was in one of the hardest ways possible.

 Let me explain. So, hearing God's voice to remind you that what you are struggling with will not continue forever is a good thing, right? It helped get your hope up and remember who you are in Christ. God can use this to help us get back on focus when we feel like we are falling apart and struggling on going on. But, for me, God was reprimanding me. He was showing me that I was wrong and I needed to remember what His Word says. But, as God is, He did it in the most loving but firm way ever. 

Let's get some background knowledge to understand this passage better. I was working at Camp Victory this past summer during June and July of 2021. There is so much more I can give about the background and what was going on in my mind and heart, but this is not quite the time for it. The important details were that I was singing fun camp songs on the praise team during our worship session, and I was facing the kids. It was as if I was on stage (I was below the stage, but facing the same direction as those on the stage) and the kids were facing me. Yet, as the song continued, many of the kids wanted to "do the actions on the stage" or in the front with me and the other counselor who was leading songs with me. 

At the moment, I was getting really bothered by all of the kids who were not listening to their counselor. They had not been given permission to come to the front. On top of all of it, over half of the kids had not learned all of the actions. So, they were facing the same direction as me with their body, but their heads were twisted in a really odd position so they could watch me do the motions. 

During this process, though, I continued singing and acting. If anything was obvious about my thoughts, it would have been my facial expressions. I am pretty sure that I did not show much at all because I was learning how to put on a fake face and having a bubbly personality at camp, which is also another story to tell. As all of this was going on, though, I heard God's voice. Literally, as my mind was thinking about how annoying the kids were from coming forward, I heard God say "Let the little children come to me." Immediately I realized how wrong I was. I could not remember the exact passage where that verse was found (though after looking it up I see that it is found in Matthew 19:14). 

God was telling me really clear that I needed to remember that my wants and desires are not more important than these kids. Letting them worship wherever they want to can help them grow in their relationship, or begin to realize that a relationship with Jesus is not all about rules or a rigid structure. 

What I loved the most about this experience was the way, or the tone, that God decided to use when He talked to me and reminded me of the commands that His Word says. He explained the verse to me at the moment as something that I needed to work on fixing immediately, but He was also explaining it in a tone as "I forgive you, but you need to do something about it" or making it clear that He was correcting me in love. Sometimes I just need the harsh truth, but God knew that this moment was not one of them. 

So, I found it so cool to experience hearing God's voice  (for what seemed like the first time for me- only July 22, 2021) even though it was a convicting moment that paints me in a negative light- because it is not all about me. This experience helped me realize so much more about God, and I think it can help point others to Him too!