Words Have Meaning

I don't know how it all started, but one day in December of 2021 I realized that I need to make some changes in my life. I decided to use a resource I had found during the summer of that year and make it a daily occurrence to the journal. I took the rest of the time I had in December to format the online notebook I would use to journal to allow me ease of access and ease of creation. The document had many specific attributes tied in, such as that every day I would look at what I was thankful for during the day. I made sure that I had a specific way that I could focus on "rating my day" so then at the end of the year I could look at how many days were good days compared to how many days were not as good of days. 

What I found really interesting as I was writing were specific words that consistently popped up as I was journaling. For more context, every day I write down what I was thankful for, what went well in my day, what I would change about my day if I could, and what events took place in my day that was memorable. I have found that the most amount of time is spent journaling is figuring out what in the world went well about my day and what I would change. 

But, the most profound observation I discovered when looking back recently, was that I had a phrase that I consistently mentioned each month. I cannot guarantee that this trend will continue for the rest of the year, but so far both January and February have a keyword or phrase. 

For January I discovered that I had a love for the conversations I got to have in my day. I spent intentional time diving deep into controversial or difficult topics with my friends, peers, and sometimes even those in authority over me. I would not challenge beliefs much more than questioning where they came up with an idea or how they got to that point of understanding the information. I took the time to take advice from multiple people, but also filter it through the Bible and my current understanding of the world. I allowed specific conversations to impact my future interactions with others while allowing some of the other conversations to go right over my head. But, I was appreciative of the knowledge that was getting passed around. For the opportunity to talk, but also the chance to listen to what others had to say. I don't believe I ever raised my voice unless it was simply in pitch because I get loud when I get excited. As far as I know, no one has been personally offended by my excitement but has only reminded me to focus on my tone. 

One of the coolest observations about said word of the month, though, was that the conversations were open and honest. I wanted to have valuable conversations instead of just talking for talking. I found that when I was able to take one-on-one time with someone and let them just talk about what is on their mind I was able to feel wanted, welcome, and personal with the friends. I was able to pour into their lives instead of feeling that others were pouring into mine alone. I was able to build closer connections with others. And the hugs that I got to give out! Man, now almost everyone wants a hug from me as a greeting. I have been told by most people that I hand out hugs to that I am a great hugger. I have learned from this as well that my presence and my comfort are sometimes all that I need. 

My word of the month for February, I discovered, was "focus". I realized that my focus was off in some ways. If I was focused on the stress of my life then I would be anxious and overwhelmed. If I was focused on my relationships with others I would feel stressed about trying to please literally everyone. If I focused on my relationship with God, though, and the love that He gives me, I found true peace. Frequently, when my life was falling apart, I would be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I focused on God at the moment and understood that He had the situation figured out. Of course, not every situation would be easy to fix, but it would be worth it. God was always by my side and He would not give up on me. When I focused on this, I was able to go through my day with way more confidence and peace of mind than I ever could trying anything on my own. 

I have not found my "Word of the Month" for March yet, but it is looking like it might actually be a phrase: quality time. If this ends up being the phrase of the month, it would be because I have been learning how much I need people. Literally from the beginning of creation, God could tell that it was not good for man to be alone. I am an extrovert at heart (though I am very much an ambivert when it comes to energy) so I have been able to spend practically every day this year (2022) with people. I have especially spent my Spring Break and this past few days with a group of friends. Each time I leave encouraged and thankful for the group and for each individual friend that I can hang out with. I have also gotten some time with specific friends one-on-one or in smaller groups. That is really special to me as well.