For the OG's, remember when I created a video about my random thoughts. For the genuine & few OGs, they would remember that I had a blog article that held so many of those random thoughts. I was thinking it was about time for me to create a new one of those. The problem is, though I have a million more thoughts and they do not all match this purpose of this blog. I have random thoughts about life that are not necessarily attached to my biblical walk, but they are still interesting and I am sure have an impact on my worldview. So, here it goes:
1. Similar to my idea of creating bullet points for understanding the commands given in the OT, I want to look at all of the prophecies (in list format) and see how many were fulfilled by the Savior. I also want to look into the prophecies that have yet to be fulfilled and see what I can put together when those are all in list format.
2. I was given an assignment in one of my education classes recently where I was to look at "God's Objectives" like what the Bible says that could be re-worded to be lesson objectives that should be learned by the end of life. That, again, would most likely come all from the New Testament, but I would want to create it in list format so that I could understand by a quick glance what the Bible talks about. Of course, there are some verses that talk about the same things, so I would want to include all of the references, but I would want to keep the objectives to the basics except for when specifics are necessary. I would want to make sure I have as much of the ABCD method that we are taught about in the Education Department, as long as this is not heiracy. I want to keep it as biblically accurate as possible but just formatted differently for people like me to understand better.
3. Kind of along with that, and this is one of those things that I almost don't know if this belongs here, but I am still figuring out who I am. No, not like that. I am figuring out whether I really have anxiety, and what kind I have. Or, figuring out if I have ADHD or ADD, or if I am just a person that gets distracted and hyper-fixated like every other human. So, for example, a friend pointed out to me that I love to count, and I have learned that I love lists. Does that mean anything? Should it mean anything?
4. During a difficult period of life this summer, I was working on creating a list of questions that I felt needed to be answered to help me understand how to have a "perfect" life. Of course, I know that I can never have a perfect life here on earth. So, after almost having a finished list, I decided to send things out to my friends asking about what I should add to my list about how to live life ready to grow closer in my relationship with God. I want to be able to prioritize that, for sure. But I also think there is some value to routines, health choices, budget choices, etc. I want to know how I can focus on what is important and what does deserve my focus.
5. I also want to be able to take the time to summarize each individual book of the bible in a paragraph or a few. I would also like to choose a theme verse for each book. Maybe a key word. Or an impactful chapter. I want to be able to make sure that the book sounds interesting enough to read, but that also provides enough content to make people feel like they understand the contents of the book without actually reading it. I do not want to discourage anyone from actually reading the Bible, but I want to make sure that all believers know what the books of the Bible say.
6. I don't understand how the body works. It is a miracle that I am still alive, and I have not even been in a freak accident or had any kind of major surgery. Just with the amount (or lack) of food & property nutrients I have seen myself and my broke college friends consume, I don't know how there is still enough energy in our system to help us to blink or for my heart to pump. Or, I have seen so many people become sick from all of the stress in their lives. It is total fair. I should be sick from all of the stress that I have been put under over the past few months. But I am still fine. Or my brother has T1D. It runs in the family. I am horrible with my overconsumption of sugar and carbohydrates. It is not too late for me to be diagnosed with T1D, but I have spent the past few years with some kind of fear in me that I would be diagnosed in the next few months. The next month's come and there is still do diagnosis or true symptoms.
7. Along with absolute shock with how the body works, separately there is a wonder with how powerful the brain is. The relationship with the brain and the rest of the body is also just insane. When I am going through stressful times for my brain, it has the power to affect the way that the rest of my body responds to that stress. I have learned that if I lie to my brain and/or convince my brain of a positive truth, my body responds positively. My breathing can calm down, my legs don't shake, and I can walk into a room of people without looking like I have anything going on in my brain even though it is still running faster than a mile a minute.
8. Time is just always running, ebe though sometimes it feels like it is crawling and sometimes it feels like it is sprinting. We all have the same amount of time in a day as everyone around us, so what we choose to do with it is what makes us different from the people around us. There are moments and hours that I feel like I have wasted, but they are in the past. There is nothing I can do about it right now, but what I chose to spend my time on now will impact my future. The moments I wasted have impacted current me.
9. Relationships are literally the most confusing thing to me right now. Each one is unique and has to be because of different spans of time with a person, different personalities, and different walks of life/ where they are mentally in the moment. There are many things in this that make it difficult for me. For example, I cannot be friends with everyone. One, because I do not have the mental energy for that. I struggle enough with keeping up with all of the people in my life right now, weather long distance or not. Two, because not everyone will get along with me. I have heard from many of my friends that they do not get along with professors, pastors, or someone older in their lives. Currently this does not seem to be an issue. I do not think that these relationship problems that my friends face is because of them not being studious, though, because many of them are more studious than me. So why do people get along with me? Why do people not get along with others? Three, because there is an amount of back-and-forth that needs to be present in relationships. There have been so many people that I interact with that do not want to put any effort into the relationship. So, if I see them in a hallway someday and they smile at me or start a conversation, no matter how small, it makes my day. I want to be able to make people's days of those who are around me. But I do not want to be known as someone who was not approachable, so they are happy when I smile at them because I never interact with them other than that. There is also the unique concept of lack of popularity at my college. We are small enough (about 100 students or less on campus) that everyone knows everyone. It is not about how many people that you know, but how many people trust you had felt like that they can come to you. I would like to think that lots of people think that they can come to be. I was told that I am in in multiple friend groups, but the way that friend groups work at Calvary is a really blurry line as well, because the cliques would not work well in such a small school. But I do not think that many people would choose to come to me over other people when they are going through something. Fourth, when people can come to me with what is going on in their lives, I need to remember that I am not responsible for bearing everyone else's problems. It is not my place. I can listen and help the best way that I know how, but I do not always need to step in. So, in conclusion, I want to be best friends with everyone in the world, but I am still learning how impossible and unrealistic that goal is.
(More is coming....)
10. Edit: (2/15/23) On the note of relationships, I have been reminded that it is a two-way street. I have had the expectations that people meet my needs, but I have not cared to take the time to see if they have needs that have not been met yet.
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