I wanted to go to my dream college. I just graduated from said dream college DEBT FREE. I wanted to go overseas for a part of my degree. While the timing was offset by a week, I got to go overseas, and the experience was better than I imagined. I wanted to graduate early. I did. None of this can I take credit for. This was all the work of God. He did not have to listen to me. He did not have to give me what I wanted.
Now, here I am in the beginning of a new year. A year that I know is already full of surprises that I have no way of preparing for. And I know I can trust God, and that He has what is best for me in His perfect plan. But I feel like I am being lazy. I feel like I am sitting around not doing anything that I should be doing. I am so scared that I am going to go broke without a place to live or a job to work for no good reason. What evidence do I have to go off of this plan? I did just get my degree. I am working on obtaining my transcript now. I am working on applying for jobs now. I am working on looking for houses now. I am looking towards the future and taking the small baby steps that I have access to. Why does it not feel like it is enough? What I want to say next is “Why do I feel like I am not enough?” But I cannot say that because there is too easy of an answer: I do not feel like enough because I am not enough. Not without my Savior. He is what makes me enough. He is what makes life worth living. So, even when I do not understand it, I can follow Him and I will be okay. As long as I am under the plans of the Lord and truly seeking Him in everything, I am confident I will be just fine.
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